Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
