I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
