Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
