how can u be prego again
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
did you just send me my own nude
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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