If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
