im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
