why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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