what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
