I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
