Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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