I bet he comes in French.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
