I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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