What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
