My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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