How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
