I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
