apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
