lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
