Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
