i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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