we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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