I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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