also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
