thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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