**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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