We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
