Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
