Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
