TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
