hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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