I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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