At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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