Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
