Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
