Umm I'm too high to move.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
