we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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