the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
