it was like eating out sand paper
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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