you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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