sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
