i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
