My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
