I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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