Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
