Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
