I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
