I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
