Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
