just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
