i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
