He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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