i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
