I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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