it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
