Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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