Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
