Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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