Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
