thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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